After a routine “Abandoned Investigation Review”, in which the Supreme Court takes a look at cases dumped by the Department of Justice to determine if anything hinky was going on when the cases were dropped, it has been unanimously determined that the Department of Justice investigation into Hillary Clinton’s millions of missing emails was botched by leftist agents and must be reopened.
Such reviews are quite routine. Every case dropped by law enforcement across the country is scrutinized by the 15 justices to determine whether there really is enough evidence to warrant further pursuit. If they find a case does, they usually don’t find corruption caused case dismissal. Rather, they simply assume that the lower law enforcement life forms were merely incapable of seeing it as they lack Scotusian brainpower.
Justice Hermoine Granger filled us in on the group’s decision making process in this particular case:
“The DOJ are a bunch of muggles. The corruption that exists there must be enormous for nobody to notice what we saw when we began our review.
Immediately, we saw the handwritten notes on the case file that showed a lack of intent to earnestly investigate.
‘Screw this! Obama forever!’
‘I want to make sweet love to the angel Hillary’
These were typical of what we found. The bias was overwhelmingly clear. And the actual evidence was overwhelming. Hillary Clinton plainly did wrong. We hereby order that the investigation be reopened, under the direction of the non-partisan AG Gay Barr this time, and charges will then most assuredly follow.”
Finally justice will be done. Hillary Clinton will go to jail. The system really does work in the end.